Yesterday was not a good day for me to be grateful. As I stated in an earlier post, I ran away for the day to hang with a friend, the one person who doesn’t make me feel like I’m sick. So today, as punishment I’m making myself do a 5 item list of things I’m grateful for instead of my normal 3. As an extra layer of punishment, I decided to publish this one. I want you all to see what my daily gratitude journal is like. (And I have been doing it consistently, I’ve spent a lot of time in the past few weeks documenting everything and journaling about everything.)
Drum role please: So here we go!
#1 I am grateful for music. My many varied and eclectic tastes in music. When things are bad music always makes me feel better. Sometimes I have to force myself to even listen to it – sure that it won’t help – but it always does. As usual, I am my own worst road block. Music motivates me. I didn’t feel up to writing my gratitude tonight until I turned my laptop stereo on shuffle.
#2 I am grateful for friendship that stand the test of time. Being able to be with my friend Dina today, to feel like not a day has passed between us year after year. It’s been almost 25 years since we have considered each other best friends. She is now married, with 6 beautiful kids, here visiting her mother’s summer home in the mountains. Dina is a large part of who I am today. For those who are always saying you’re my biggest “fans” for whatever reason, should thank Dina. She taught me about life. She taught me to grab life by the horns, is the person that has made laugh the hardest ever in all my life, and the person that first introduced me to Pizza Pizza at Little Caesars and their breadsticks, during a tornado in Coca Beach Florida. (Oddly, that wasn’t our only experience of surviving a tornado together, but that’s a story for another day.)
#3. I am grateful for the benefit that is coming up for me. Beyond the fact that it’s to raise money to help pay for my treatment and keep me getting the help I need. I am totally and completely surprised at the oupouring of love and generosity from the Lyme community. The last benefit I had in October was before we had created this amazing network/Lyme family/community. I know most Lymies are in the same financial boat I am in – so to know some of them are actually doing things to contribute, offer goods for raffles etc just blows my mind. I just never expected so many people to so quickly respond and offer such help. I began to get all teary eyed every time I even begin to think about it. Beauty in it’s purest form is unconditional love – Blessed be my Lyme community for showing me the purest form of beauty there is.
#4. I am grateful for the 1,000 or so new people in my life because of Lyme. No other platform would ever have given me the ability to become friends with and join with such amazing people to fight the Lyme monster with. They are such a blessing, you can’t begin to understand what it means to have such support.
#5. I’m grateful God has chosen something new in my life. Sometimes I wonder if getting sick was the Universe’s way of slapping me upside the head to say YOU’RE NOT LISTENING – THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU ARE ON THIS EARTH FOR. Okay – I get the message. My life has changed completely in 14 months. Nothing is as it was – and nothing will ever be what it was. But what it will become is all up to me. How often do you get to totally reinvent yourself at the age of 37? Not many – so advantage of it I must take.
Thank you for being part of tonight’s gratitude journal. Are you keeping one yet? Let me tell you, it helps keep your sanity in this crap storm of a disease most of us have found ourselves in. It helps lessen the desire to end it all because you don’t see an end in sight. Join me, I challenge you all to gratitude journal with me daily. I’ll even give out gold stars to those who actually do it.
Love to you all for being part of this journey with me, for helping me to realize my role in this new “life”, for your unending support and for being a part of my life now, my Lyme life. I am truly blessed to not walk this journey alone. May you all find the same support and love on your journey.